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All About Pregnancy

11 Things Coworkers Think When They Find Out You’re Pregnant

Because whether they say them out loud or not, they do have thoughts on this matter!

You’ve probably had more than a few weeks to get used to the idea yourself, but the day your pregnancy news comes out, prepare yourself for a whole new round of excitement, delight, and, okay, some off-the-wall remarks. Welcome to working parenthood!

1. It’s definitely a boy. I can tell because your right pinkie finger is slightly swollen—dead giveaway.

2. I’m so sorry for making fun of your 3 p.m. milkshake the other day. Hope you're feeling great.

3. I want to give you a hug! Why do I want to give you a hug? Is it awkward if I give you a hug?

4. After maternity leave, please come back. Please, please, please come back.

5. You should totally borrow this maternity dress I wore back in '02. So cute.  

6. Oh, that’s why you were throwing up! What happens in the ladies’ room stays in the ladies’ room. Promise.

7. Do you know the hair-elastic-around-the-jeans-button trick? Because I would love to share that with you. I also have 18,372 other well-intended, but only moderately helpful bits of advice from my own pregnancy.

8. Did I ever tell you about my wife's delivery? Such a crazy story.

9. So, can everyone in the office wear elastic-waist pants in solidarity or what?

10. So there’s this one part of your job that I’ve always wanted to try, and I was just going to ask you if I could take it over, but I don’t want you to think that I’m trying to steal your job. I’m not trying to steal your job. I really want you to come back after maternity leave. Did I mention that?

11. Oh how nice for you that you’ll get a vacation after you have the baby—ack, cough, cough, cough. Sorry, the other moms in our workplace could actually hear me thinking that and just strangled that thought right out of me. I take it back!

Lauren Smith Brody is the founder of The Fifth Trimester, which helps businesses improve workplace culture for new parents. She is also the author of The Fifth Trimester: The Working Mom’s Guide to Style, Sanity, and Big Success After Baby.