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After two years, is it time to stop fertility treatments?
Q: We’ve been seeing a fertility specialist for more than two years. My wife wants to continue trying, but I think it may be time to stop. What are your thoughts? How long is too long? Are we just clinging to hope? And, what can I do to make my wife understand my feelings without thinking I’m giving up on our dreams to start a family? I’m disappointed about this, but I know she will be devastated.
A: My heart goes out to you and your wife. Having had several years of infertility to deal with before being blessed with children, I understand the frustration you’re experiencing.

While many of us have a strong desire to become parents, I sense it’s more consuming for my patients than their husbands. But your feelings are just as important, and it’s important to express them to your wife. I strongly advise couples in your situation to speak with a counselor about this issue. Most fertility specialists can direct you to qualified counselors to explore your feelings.

You asked when it’s time to stop fertility treatments. That’s a tough question. At the doctor’s office your wife is surrounded by other women trying to conceive. You always want to hold out hope that you’ll be the next lucky couple. Yet after exhausting fertility treatments, including several cycles of in vitro fertilization, many couples begin to wonder whether they should give up or keep trying.

Before you two decide, talk with your fertility expert. As this is such an important decision, seek a second opinion on the matter as well.

The fact that you took the time to write speaks of your concern and love for your wife, Mark. I wish you the best and hope you two realise your collective dream.