Planning a Shower for Adopting Parents
There are lots of ideas for baby showers out there — from special themes to gender reveal parties. But what about families who are adopting a child? They deserve a celebration too! Here are some ideas I’ve gathered during the adoption process.
To friends and family of parents who hope to adopt an infant:
Adoption is a roller coaster ride of emotions. Many who are hoping to adopt have also experienced the emotional turbulence that comes with infertility. All of this may make you sensitive about saying and doing the right thing. When you want to celebrate with your family member or friend, tell them this and ask what their wish is for the baby shower. All waiting parents are different. Some like to prepare the baby’s room, shop for baby clothes, and buy toys while they wait. If that’s what they want, plan a “waiting” shower. Other waiting families prefer to avoid all things baby until they have a match or even a placement. If this is the case, plan a shower for post-match, post-placement, post-finalization or whatever other time they would feel comfortable celebrating.
To parents who hope to adopt an infant:
Your friends and family want to help and celebrate with you, but they might not know what to do or say. So tell them what you need! You are becoming parents. Real parents. You deserve to celebrate your expected arrival in the same way a Mom carrying a child celebrates. If you want to revel in the waiting, tell your friends and family it’s OK to throw a shower for you even though you don’t have a match. In fact, you want one. If you aren’t comfortable celebrating until everything is settled, then tell them you’d rather wait. That might mean you’re waiting until you are matched with a birth parent, a child has been placed with you, or that a revocation waiting period has ended or the adoption has been finalized. Whatever it is, don’t hesitate to let them know.
Enjoy the party – and enjoy every minute of your new family.
Carolyn is an attorney at Fisher Price and REAL mom of two through adoption.
Our parenting advice is given as suggestions only. We recommend you also consult your healthcare provider, and urge you to contact them immediately if your question is urgent or about a medical condition.