Q:
We have a 5-year-old daughter and a 2-year-old son. Our 5-year-old is a great student, but whines and throws temper tantrums at home. It seems like it is more focused towards me, her mother. For instance, she got mad at me for telling her to leave her brother alone and threw a toy at me. What could be causing this anger, and how can I control it?
A:
I think your problem is sibling rivalry. It is very difficult for a 5-year-old to understand how demanding a 2-year-old can be. All she knows is her life has changed and she doesn't like it. She often feels neglected and forgotten and wishes for the good old days when she was Number One. Here are some suggestions that other families have found helpful:
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Have father take a more active role in spending time with your 5-year–old.
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Father can also be helpful in watching the 2-year-old so mom is free to do things with her oldest child.
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Don't expect to always do things with both children, as their ages are so far apart.
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Protect your 5-year–old's possessions from the chaos of the toddler.
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Your older child has friends over, make sure the younger one is occupied so your daughter can enjoy her friends without a lot of interruptions.
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Hire a sitter to watch your toddler so you can be with your daughter.
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Have your 5-year-old spend the day or night with grandparents where she can still get a lot of attention.
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Plan time with your daughter after your son has been put to bed. The oldest should have a later bedtime.
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Encourage your daughter to tell you when she is feeling left out.
Kenneth N. Condrell Ph.D Child Psychologist
Our parenting advice is given as suggestions only. We recommend you also consult your healthcare provider, and urge you to contact them immediately if your question is urgent or about a medical condition.
