Who are you, really? What do others see when they look at you? Do you look like a grandmother? More importantly, who are you to you? When you look in the mirror, who do you see? Forget the physical factors - they're transient. Who is behind those intelligent eyes? Make a list of words that describe you. It might look like this:

• corporate CEO
• wife
• feminist
• friend
• lover
• intellectual
• athlete
• movie buff
• bowling pro
• shower opera singer
• seamstress
• championship shopper
• gourmet chef
• sister
• mother
• grandmother

Now, put those words in order of importance. The order may change from day to day. The significant ones won't. Examine your list.

These days, when many people start their own families in their 30s, motherhood lasts a pretty long time. So, you're likely to see yourself as a mother first and foremost. Your professional role is important and has ego prominence, yet motherhood comes from the heart. But, like Hollywood says about classic films, you have transcended the genre. You've done motherhood one better: you are a grandmother. Put it at the top of your list!

What it Means to be a "Grandma"
Being a grandmother isn't about being old, or even passing the torch to younger generations. It's about being loved and revered. It's an existential role in a transient world. Every time you hear the noble title, think of it as a cheer. Be proud.

Vanity Fair magazine introduced a former mayor in President Clinton's administration as a "grandmother of three." The game show Wheel of Fortune described a business owner as a grandmother before listing her professional credentials. Defining these accomplished women as grandmothers is not meant to demean them by bringing them down to a stereotypical female role; on the contrary, this identity gives them status in society. As a grandparent, you have roots in the past and influence on the future. You have power!

Mirror, Mirror
Relax. How you look doesn't matter so much; please yourself. You no longer have to compete with women whom gravity has never touched. After all, you are a grandma now - your toned thighs are not what attract adoration. You are!

If you are young and beautiful, don't fret over the title - especially with the grandchildren. If they hear you say you are too young to be a grandmother, they will figure you don't like them. After all, they know you are a grandma. If you like them, how could you be too young? Besides, being a young grandma is fun. You have the energy to keep up!

Free At Last
How many times have you heard the word eccentric paired with grandmother? Doing whatever you darned please is a natural outgrowth of living long enough and gaining self-confidence. With this identity comes liberation. No longer must you endure your children's harsh scrutiny. No longer do you have to dress respectably for the PTA. As a grandma, your job is to be fun and to have fun! Grandchildren don't embarrass easily. Now is your chance to greet the mailman in your bathrobe. Now is your chance to try skydiving. Now is the time to please yourself. Let your children shake their heads and sigh, if they must. They are past being disgraced by you - now they can be amused.

Qualifications
Your grandma status is proof you've made it through the rough parts of life. You've raised your family and worked hard for many years. You have vast experience and a genuine stake in the world. You have fulfilled your genetic imperative by producing future generations. Hold your head high. You're a grandmother!