A: If it takes you five hours to put your daughter to sleep it means your daughter has learned how to extract five more hours of attention from you. Children love attention, and they will try to get it any way they can. Dragging out bedtime is an all-time favorite way for children to extract more attention from Mom and Dad.

To improve the situation, spend time with your daughter during the day so you don’t feel that you owe her alone time at night. A mother who feels guilty that she has not spent enough time with her child ends up giving in to that child at night.

Develop a bedtime routine to calm down your daughter and make this time of day more pleasant for everyone. Set a kitchen timer and let her know that when the bell rings it’s time to put her stuff away and get ready for bed. You could follow that with a bath, a small snack and stories before she’s tucked in.

Since your daughter is used to getting her own way at night, you can expect her to leave her room for any number of reasons: to whine for juice, to go to the bathroom or to inform you that there’s a monster under the bed. Children can be very creative in getting their parents’ attention. When this occurs, lead your daughter back to her room and let her know if she gets out of bed again, you will have to lock the door.

Most likely she will test you and come out of her bed again. At this point, give her a mild scolding and lead her back to her room. Close the door and hold it shut. In seconds she’ll be at the door trying to get out. Continue to hold the door shut, and don’t say anything.

After a few minutes, tell her, “I will leave the door open only if you stay in your bed. Do you understand?” Most children calm down at this point, go to bed and stay there. You may have to repeat this scene for a few nights, until your daughter learns that bedtime is no longer a five-hour ritual.