Q:
My 4½ -year-old daughter has a very active imagination. I know it’s perfectly normal to have imaginary friends, but my daughter has a whole imaginary family: a husband (he’s 66), two girls (their ages change frequently), twin girls and now a son. My husband and I thought it was cute and accepted it at first, but now she’s beginning to “speak” to them in public. We were just wondering when it will stop or if we need to talk to her about it.
A:
A good imagination is a sign of a bright child, and a normal child. And lots of kids have imaginary friends. However, it sounds as if your daughter may be retreating a little too deeply into fantasy.
Here are a few reasons she may be doing this:
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She’s lonely and doesn’t have other children to play with.
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You’re not spending enough time with her.
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She’s having trouble distinguishing between reality and fantasy
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She has found this is a good way to get your attention.
I suggest you try setting limits on your daughter’s imaginary friends when you’re out in public. You can simply tell her that she’s a big girl now and that her imaginary family is for her to have fun with at home. If you find your daughter continues to be as intense about her family over the next few months, consult a child psychologist, who can meet with her and give you a better idea why she’s holding on to this imaginary cast of characters.
Kenneth N. Condrell Ph.D Child Psychologist
