A: Dear Liz,

You are asking a truly important question. What do you do when you get bad vibes from your doctor? Personally, I’d find another doctor. This is supposed to be a happy time. Why should you feel uncomfortable with your provider?

The doctor-patient relationship is built on mutual respect and trust. I trust that my patient will take care of herself. In turn, I try to gain her respect and trust by: 1) answering questions with courtesy and reassurance; 2) providing her with the most up-to-date information; and 3) anticipating her questions and needs throughout the pregnancy. If we both do our jobs, we will have a great relationship and a safe delivery. I must stress the importance of this relationship: it is the reason I went into obstetrics. It also creates a loyalty and shared experience that bonds us forever.

When the pregnancy has difficulties or an unexpected emergency strikes, the patient needs to have confidence in her doctor. And your unwavering trust helps your doctor navigate the tough times, too.

Even though you are halfway through your pregnancy, it is never to late to switch doctors. From the tone of your note, you should find another doctor. As for how to find a good doctor, word of mouth is number one. Read Beth in Billingsworth’s question, “How do I find a good obstetrician, or is my gynecologist good enough?” for more ways to find your ideal doctor.