I have a 13-month-old son who has been my world, sun, moon, and stars. We're very close. Recently, I gave birth to a little girl, and I'm devastated that I don't have the one-on-one time with my son anymore. He seems to be dealing with the baby okay, but I'm very jealous that my husband gets more time with my son, as I am nursing and always busy with the new baby. What can I do to ease my mind and let my son know he's still my special boy, and we'll always have a special relationship?
Well, right now I’m more concerned about your daughter. Believe it or not, she is probably picking up some of the signals you are sending that you would rather be spending time with your son. You’ve got to find room for her in your emotional galaxy.
With two children so close together, you are going to have your hands full. But there will always be times when the baby is asleep and you can do special things with your son. He shouldn’t need as much sleep as she does, and the times she is napping will give you opportunities to do special things with him. Remind him of that. “As soon as the baby goes down for her nap, you and I are going to (read a book, play with a favourite toy, etc.).” Also, ask your husband to watch the baby for brief periods while you go somewhere with your son.
If you have a special relationship with your son (as it certainly appears that you do), he will know this. You won’t have to try to tell him.
Our parenting advice is given as suggestions only. We recommend you also consult your healthcare provider, and urge you to contact them immediately if your question is urgent or about a medical condition.