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I'm going back to work—will my baby feel abandoned?
Q: I am going back to work in one week and my 4-month-old baby will be at a sitter or at my in-laws. She has always stayed with me and never spent time anywhere without me. Will she go through a lot of separation anxiety? Will my baby feel as though I have abandoned her?
A: Unfortunately she can’t tell you verbally how she feels, so you will have to observe her behaviour to know. If she already has a secure attachment to you (and she is a bit young for that to have occurred completely), she probably won’t feel “abandoned,” to use your term. Attachment is usually pretty completely established by six months, and I have always recommended waiting until a child is at least that old before going back to work. However, there is not any solid research evidence that this is necessary. Even so, it seems like a good rule of thumb to me.

There is one thing I definitely suggest to you: either use your in-laws or the sitter. It would be much easier for your baby to adjust to one sitter than two.