How do we tell my mother-in-law to not spoil her favourite grandson in front of my four children? They ask why he's treated differently; what should I tell them? This grandson has always been her favourite. She has 13 grandchildren and whenever I talk about my children, all she can do is compare him with mine.
I wish I had a good suggestion for you, but I don’t. My guess is there’s not much you can do or say to change her pattern of favoritism. The person who might be able to help is your husband, because it’s his mother who is the offender. I doubt that he could do much to change her feelings about this particular grandson, but he might be able to persuade her not to make it so obvious in front of her other grandchildren. Don’t risk having your mother-in-law turn against you by complaining to her about the situation.
Other than that, I’d work on my kids. Point out to them that their grandmother loves them—always gives them birthday and Christmas presents, etc.—but that she has always had a special spot for the one who is her favourite. (Maybe he had a difficult birth, or reminds her of her own father—make up something if there isn’t anything actual you can refer to.) Then I would urge them to be more aware of and thoughtful of their grandmother—write little notes to her, draw pictures for her and send them in letters, invite her to visit their school, etc. A little extra effort on their part can make a big difference in her behaviour.
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