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Should I forgive my mother-in-law for the way she treated me while I was pregnant?
Q: I have a problem with my mother-in-law. She was upset when I became pregnant with her son’s child and refused to have anything to do with us. Now that I have given birth, she wants everything between us to be great, but I don't think it will ever be okay with me. How can I deal with this without hurting anyone’s feelings? She never thought about my feelings, or even her son’s, for that matter.
A: Try to be patient with her and forget about her earlier behaviour. What counts is how she acts now and in the future. She probably had her reasons for being remote from you during your pregnancy—concern that her son’s career might be ruined by fatherhood, fear that a baby would come between her and her son, etc. Who knows? What is important for both you and your baby—and for your husband—is that she is now trying to heal old wounds and help to create a happier family situation. Babies can be wonderful healers, and the chances are your baby is playing that role. I hope you can let it happen.