Q:
For the past three months my mom and sister have been taking care of my 17-month-old son as my husband and I work abroad. Now my husband wants our child to live with my in-laws while we work abroad. Will this changing setup have a negative effect on him?
A:
Generally, it's not a good idea for both parents to leave a baby for months. Nor is it a good idea to move a child living with one set of grandparents to another set of grandparents after three months. I don't mean to worry you, but this separation from both parents is not a good idea.
I don't know your exact circumstances, but I'd suggest that you keep your son with your mom and sister unless they're in poor health or can't otherwise take care of him properly. When you return from working abroad, you have to expect that your son will be attached to his grandparents and not you and your husband.
It will take time for your son to get to know you, to respect your authority and to feel loved by you. So don't expect to return and quickly move him away from his grandparents. Some parents do this, but it's a shock for a child this age to suddenly lose his substitute parents.
Kenneth N. Condrell Ph.D Child Psychologist
Our parenting advice is given as suggestions only. We recommend you also consult your healthcare provider, and urge you to contact them immediately if your question is urgent or about a medical condition.