Q:
My 4-year-old son loves girl toys. He has five girl cousins that he plays with weekly. He sometimes tells me that he wishes he were a girl. I've been reminding him how wonderful it is to be a boy, and we try to encourage gender appropriate toys and behaviors. But he always expresses his preference for girl things. What should we do? Should we be concerned?
A:
I have found that boys who behave like this often have too much mothering and hardly any involvement with dad. As a boy begins to identify with his mother and act like a girl, the father, who had little time for his son to begin with, becomes even less involved because the boy's behavior bothers him.
I don't know if this is your situation. If it is, I strongly recommend that your son's dad become more involved in his life. Your son needs a man to excite him about being a boy.
If you take my suggestion and still don't see any progress in the next six months, it would be a good idea to have a child psychologist evaluate your son.
Kenneth N. Condrell Ph.D Child Psychologist
Our parenting advice is given as suggestions only. We recommend you also consult your healthcare provider, and urge you to contact them immediately if your question is urgent or about a medical condition.
