My mother-in-law's panic attacks are scaring the children
Q:
When she's babysitting my daughter, my mother-in-law doesn't pay attention to anything I say. She claims she didn't know, even if I tell her beforehand.
Once, she had what I think was an anxiety attack. I came in to discover her panicking. My daughter was fussy because she hadn't been fed. I only let my in-laws have supervised visits now, but I know the question will arise as to why that's the case. I feel as if my child is in danger. How do we handle this situation?
A:
The best person to talk to your mother-in-law is her son. He has to make it clear to his mother that her love and attention is welcomed, but that he can't have his little girl exposed to her panic attacks. Handle this delicate situation by telling yourself that the priority is your daughter's safety and not your mother-in-law's feelings.
I encourage you to be sensitive to your mother-in-law. But if her feelings are hurt, so be it. If she truly has an anxiety disorder, she needs to get treatment. There are medications used by millions of people to manage panic attacks.
By the way, there's more than safety involved here. An anxiety attack is frightening for a child to witness and can cause anxiety in your own daughter. I strongly urge you to take a stand and have your husband talk to his mother. Please show your husband my response to your question.
Kenneth N. Condrell Ph.D Child Psychologist
Our parenting advice is given as suggestions only. We recommend you also consult your healthcare provider, and urge you to contact them immediately if your question is urgent or about a medical condition.
