Q:
I don't know how to tell my husband that I don't trust his parents with my son, who is due to be born soon.
I can buy time saying that I don't feel comfortable with him being away from me at such a young age. I see the way they care for my brother-in-law's 14-month–old baby, and I see the potential for too many accidents.
When I mention this to my husband, he gets defensive. In the end, I know I'm going to be the one who looks bad, but I know I'm not just being overprotective. Please help!
A:
It's possible that your husband's parents are careless when they look after young children.
But the fact that you're worrying about this before your child is born suggests you may be the kind of parent who easily becomes overprotective. I suggest you discreetly talk to your sister-in–law, asking her how she feels about the care that's being provided. I also suggest you observe if, and how many times, your nephew is hurt while he's with the grandparents. This will help you determine whether the grandparents have a problem or whether you're being worrying unnecessarily.
If you decide that your husband's parents are being careless, it's up to your husband to talk to them about it. But he has to let them know that he's as concerned about this as you are. Another option to consider is being there with your child while his grandparents are around. There's no rule saying that you have to leave your son with them. Once your child is older, you may feel more at ease doing so.
Kenneth N. Condrell Ph.D Child Psychologist
Our parenting advice is given as suggestions only. We recommend you also consult your healthcare provider, and urge you to contact them immediately if your question is urgent or about a medical condition.
