A: Yes, I can give you some ideas on how to cope.

First, start with your husband. Let me repeat one of your statements: “My husband isn’t around much because his job keeps him away.” This statement tells me you are already accepting an unspoken rule in your marriage that your husband will not be around much to help care for and parent the children. You did not marry and become pregnant to be a single parent and raise your children by yourself, or almost by yourself.

These are your children, and they need to be raised by both of you. And you need to raise these expectations right now and, if necessary, go into counseling. If you give in now and keep silent, your husband most likely will expect you to do all the parenting. Your resentment toward him will grow and your marriage will be affected, and your children will be deprived from not having enough fathering. It's unfortunate but true that women are most often the emotional leaders of their families. So I suggest you set up some rules with your husband about how you both are going to cooperate and raise these children.

There are some things you can do right now to help your daughter develop a positive relationship with the baby. Find some picture storybooks about how babies come to be and read them to your daughter, showing her the pictures of the baby growing inside the mommy. As your pregnancy develops, show your daughter your own “tummy” and how the baby is growing inside of you. Start having your daughter get used to spending more time with her dad and going places with him right now. When the baby is born and demands most of your attention, her relationship with her dad is going to help her feel secure that she is still important and loved.