What My Kids Did-and Didn't-Eat This Week
A week-long food journal of three kids' diets that may or may not be exactly what's going on in your house...
Mealtime has officially gone off the rails over here-what with the toddler's current food strike, the baby's reflux, the big guy's new school allergy rules removing gluten and dairy (along with tree and ground nuts, of course), and the impending avalanche of Halloween treats we're about to face. So I'm keeping a log to see if I can make sense of any of it. Here goes!
Did eat: Cute little pre-packaged baby carrot that came in an individual-serving size bag that cost exactly five times as much as a bunch of real carrots.
Didn't eat: The rest of the adorable baby carrots in said bag.
Did eat: A linty extra-strength mint from the bottom of my work bag.
Didn't eat: Normal toothpaste ("too minty").
Did eat: My nose.
Didn't eat: My breast milk.
Did eat: A diet as white as pure-driven snow: white bread (crustless), french fries, three mini marshmallows.
Didn't eat: Organic white mac and cheese.
Did eat: The frosted side of the wheat squares.
Didn't eat: The wheat.
Did eat: Grass.
Didn't eat: Grass-fed, free-range, antibiotic-free beef, puréed into one-ounce portions, frozen, and gently defrosted in a bowl of warm water (not the microwave!).
Did eat: My $32 steak.
Didn't eat: His $12 grilled cheese and fries. But it's okay-cause I ate every bite.
Did eat: The middle three slices of a boat made of bananas, made with a pretzel-stick mast and romaine lettuce sail. Ahoy! Vitamins!
Didn't eat: Not-quite-expired gummy vitamin that had "lost its smoosh."
Did eat: The last of my frozen breast milk stash.
Didn't eat: The 18 fresh ounces I left in the office fridge.
Did eat: My dinner (again).
Didn't eat: Husband's dinner. At least one parent will survive.
Did eat: Brunch and linner.
Didn't eat: Breakfast, lunch, dinner.
Did eat: Twelve times today.
Didn't eat: between the hours of 4am and 6am (little victories, right?).
Did eat: Some other kid's packed lunch.
Didn't eat: His own. Delivered to school after round trip back home. (The "let him be responsible for his back pack" lesson will need to wait til next year.)
Did eat: Seven pieces of Halloween candy.
Didn't eat: Three peanut butter cups. BECAUSE THOSE ARE MINE, SUCKERS.
Did eat: Dog food.
Didn't eat: Cat food (so that's a plus).
Did eat: Halloween candy from hidden location.
Didn't eat: Any more, per my explicit instructions.
Did eat: Truffle oil (???!!!).
Didn't eat: Low-sodium ketchup.
Did eat: Clementine rind, from the floor near the garbage.
Didn't eat: Actual garbage. (Relief!)
Did eat: The rose off of my birthday cake.
Did eat: The other rose off of my birthday cake.
Did eat: The last and final rose off of my birthday cake (why do I feel like a shunned Bachelor contestant?).
BIG KID & TODDLER & BABY
Didn't eat: The Rosé I had after bedtime!!
Lauren Smith Brody is a writer, editor, consultant, and the author of the upcoming book The Fifth Trimester: The Working Mom's Guide to Style, Sanity, and Big Success After Baby (Doubleday, April 2017).