A: When I was a young father, the world was different, so I would behave much like your ex-husband did. Today, things have changed so much that when my grandchildren use the bathroom in a public place, I’m standing right outside the door. The fact is, parents need to be more vigilant these days than in the past.

To help your husband appreciate this reality, you can start by showing him my response to your question. You can also share with him some of the stories in the media about kidnapped and abused children. I also suggest that you search the phrase “Protecting children from predators” online and find the sites that would be most helpful to your ex-husband. You can also check out DVDs and videos about child safety.

Another suggestion I have is to teach your daughter how to protect herself from predators. For example, you can tell her some of the things bad people say to youngsters to trick them, such as, “Your mommy is in the hospital and she wants me to take you there.” Or, “I lost my puppy. Can you help me find it?”

Try role-playing with your daughter to show her exactly what to do when a strange person approaches her.

I hope this helps. If the father of your child is irresponsible and refuses to be vigilant, you have to think about forbidding her from being with him unless there’s another adult present.